January 2009
12 posts
i’m ready to kick the whole world in the fuckin’ teeth. yeah, you too. you especially, actually. i’ve already said too much. i’m so pissed. i’m fucking hurt. i’m over it. i won’t fight this fight again. i wont. “when the time comes to leave, just walk away quietly and don’t make a fuss.” don’t you forget it, it’s...
things are feeling heavy. i need to start working on my essay for school. i need my 2 letters of reccomendation, which in turn means i have to tell the family i nanny for that i’m even considering moving to boston to go to art school. fuckmefuckmefuckme. i need to get on top of my shit. need to need to. this will all work out, right mom? where is my mom, i need her. i feel like i...
i have decided this:
everyone wants to be someone they’re not, so i am going to want to be someone who wants to be someone else and maybe it’ll just make it around like a circle and i’ll eventually end up wanting to be myself.
ok? good.
(time to get high.)
oh yeah. go obama and so on and so forth.
i felt some comfort falling asleep. just a little. at some point though i must have let my fears take over. i woke up looking like i hadn’t slept a wink. my hair looked untouched, my eyes looked swollen and heavy. my mind is deep and impacted, like a wisdom tooth lacking the wisdom. now i’m left with a lingering thought, and all i can do is try and drown it with the sunrise, ...
yes.
i’m on day uh, 8? 9? without a smoke. ok, ok, i had a few puffs of one a few days ago… and i’ve really wanted one for the past oh, you know, 8 or 9 days. however, i’ve stopped and i’m on a good path with it this time. fuck it. i want a mountain to climb, and at the top of that mountain, i want to see a GOLDEN fucking box of Marlboro reds and an unlimited supply of...
all that matters →
my photography. (or at least some of it…)
i was here to take care of me
priorities start to surface when you see your life becoming more settled. isn’t that sort of backwards? i mean, i never said i ever did anything right, but i feel a little out of the loop. no one warned me about this feeling. no one told me this would start to make me shift. i have to redirect my friendships, i have to buckle down and be someone to her that she not only wants to be in...