December 2008
11 posts
fuck new years.
tear me
i’m scared to open my mouth. i’m scared to let my fingertip loose. i’m scared to let it all out. and where will that fear get me? nowhere. which is where i am. always figuring there is a reason to trust, but never really knowing why. (god i wish i could just fill my nose with blow. really white snowy fucking cocaine.) ok, i said it. yes, i’m not perfect and being...
someone told me once, that any artist at heart, will never be fully satisfied. we need high’s, we need low’s. in-betweens never last long and soon the pleasure will wear off. you’ll fuck it up because it’s gotten dull anyways, why not? so, you’re happy as you could ever imagine being…. you’re on the fucking cloud 9 bullshit your mom promises...
can't you see
i’m pretty certain there is no reason for this mood. i should have actually felt this way two weeks ago, but i never was good at being on time. i’m embarking on a bottle of wine, forgetting this pounding headache, and embracing the week ahead. (did you catch that lie?)
i have the most amazing girlfriend who i plan to marry, but right now all i can think of is how we live 45 minutes...
j.
there is a time when you want to die, and then you just fuck someone’s brains out which works great instead of the whole death thing. you would have been proud i said that, if you yourself hadn’t chosen the death path. i’m reminded of just how much i miss you every time i find myself falling in love. i think it’s mostly because you never had that feeling. 34 years old and...